A reality show so bizarre, I’m surprised it hasn’t been done yet…
This is the true story (true story!) of five strangers picked to live in a house, compete together and have their lives taped. Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start being killed by mythical creatures! Unlucky Charms…
In an attempt to maintain her youth and beauty, DeeDee Deville gathers five, often scantily (or less) clad women under the guise of a tv reality show. Soon, the contestants are not only competing for top prize, but also their lives, as they start disappearing one by one! Using the powers of four mythical creatures, DeeDee plans on stealing their souls and using them to restore herself using “ancient magic.” But, what happens when the creatures decide to strike out on their own and defy her orders?
Director Charles Band is up to his old tricks again. If you’ve seen many films released by Full Moon Entertainment, especially those directed by Band himself, then you have a pretty good idea what to expect. A group of smaller-than-normal creatures terrorizing a houseful of guests with bigger-than-normal breasts, willing to catfight at a purrs notice. But, you can also expect to have a good time watching a group of people, who are also having a good time in a movie that knows not to take itself too seriously.
- Unlucky Charms
- Director
Charles Band - Cast
Charlie O’Connell, Seth Peterson, Nathan Phillips - Release Date
22 July, 2013 - Influx Grade: B+
The creatures in this case, are lead by red leprechaun Farr Darrig, who has the power to realize his victims’ greatest fears. He is backed by Bloody Bones, a cyclops with the ability to shoot magical beams from his eye, Banshee, a hag with a devastating scream, and Pookah, a hobgoblin with the power to… well, be the fourth creature. One nice thing about Full Moon – because they dip into the little monster pool quite often, they are always sure to give each of their creatures its own name and identity. No random gathering of beasts for them.
As for the humans, the five girls are all game in their stereotypical roles – the good girl, the bad girl (who may be nicer than she seems), the girl with body-image issues, the girl sleeping her way to the top, and the one who would be sleeping her way to the top if the other hadn’t gotten their first. The judges are modelled after those of many popular reality shows – the playboy who is more interested in his own image (played by Charlie O’Connell, looking like the love child of his younger brother Jerry and Aaron Eckhart), the stereotypical gay fashionista, and DeeDee herself, as the bitchy designer who leads the pack. Everyone involved, seems to be in on exactly what they are making, but wisely don’t play their roles with their tongue-in-cheek.
The featured reality show, a mix of Big Brother and Project Runway with lingerie, takes place on a very well designed set. After an atmospheric, ethereal opening that’s quite well done, the entire movie takes place on this single location, except for a short close that ties together nicely with the beginning, and adds a little pathos to the proceedings. Effects, music, and cinematography are all, again, what you’d expect from Full Moon — fun, playful, and fit perfectly with the rest of the movie. The creatures themselves are put together nicely, especially Farr Darrig and Bloody Bones, who are the dominating presence in the film.
Jason’s Final Thoughts:
If I keep referring to the usual Full Moon catalog, it’s for good reason — Full Moon has a protocol for this type of movie, and they mostly stick within it for this one. Nothing wrong with that — if it ain’t broke, don’t stop throwing little monsters at it. Sure, there are a couple of references that will soon date it a bit (Lopez’s Jennifer and George, Lady Gaga), a shortage of blood and guts, and a reality show concept that’s not quite used to its full potential, but this one is still a whole lot of cheesy fun. And, at a mere 70 minutes, including opening and closing credits, you’ll be entertained the whole time. Plus, there’s plenty of eye candy, courtesy of most of the non-mythical creature cast (although, a few of the creatures do have a bit of an eye twinkle). If the purpose of a movie is just to entertain, which many argue it is, job done.
Review by Jason Howard, special to Influx Magazine
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