“Thoroughly weak film”
I’ve reviewed quite a few supernatural horror films this year, everything fromThe Forest, to The Darkness, to Lights Out, and now The Disappointments Room. In efforts to break up the monotony of my words and their delivery, I’ll conduct my review of The Disappointments Room in twelve simple, effective haiku poems.
.
Old house with secrets
Is the setting for the film
Here we go again
Kate Beckinsale
Plays an unstable mother
With mental illness
She loses her kid
And tries to raise another
In the countryside
Her husband means well
But once her son finds a cat
All the bets are off
The attic’s a room
For deformed children to stay
And wait until death
Beckinsale rules
She plays a great, nasty drunk
And carries the film
Scares feel the same
Tension exists in loud booms
Atmosphere is weak
- The Disappointments Room
- Directed by
D.J. Caruso - Cast
Kate Beckinsale, Mike Bizon, Charles Carroll - Release Date
9 September 2016 - Steve’s Grade: D
*****
.
Backstory is nice
Makes film feel less empty
Some scenes terrify
But it makes no sense
Why this family suffers
For a strange mistake
Is the house haunted?
Is she paying for her sins?
Nothing is explained
Talked with guy after
We were the only ones there
Our talk was more fun
Thoroughly weak film
Relativity needs help
Disappointing’s right
