Dumb and Dumber 2, gets released early…

My title refers to two characters who play brothers, and feature prominently in this strange OTT movie, and while they may have had fun making 13/13/13, and (over) acting in full-on mode, I wish the same could be said about my viewing pleasure. This was a struggle to reach the end, but I did manage it, so, there is that, I suppose. I should be used to Asylum movies by now, have extremely low-expectations, yet, I still hold hope of a decent film. More fool me. The premise, while certainly not original, is still good. However, a great premise, does not a great movie make. I cared about no one in this film, even Jack’s daughter Kendra, played by the young, and clearly talented Tiffany Martinez. I’ll bet she loved cussing away at the adults. I know I certainly f*cking did. My screen was covered in spit after watching.

Written & Directed by
James Cullen Bressack
Trae Ireland, Erin Coker, Jody Barton
Release Date
1 October 2013
Ed’s Grade: D+

Surprisingly, writer/director James Cullen Bressack, has a sh*t-load of production and directorial credits, yet, sadly, this felt too much like a first-time effort, making me more forgiving, but alas, no chance of that now. Being a great believer in “honesty is the best policy,” here we go. Weak! I write notes while watching any movie, usually more so with large-budget affairs, but I kept scribbling the same thing, over-and-over. “WTF!” and “seriously?!” I kid you not. The idea was not bad, but the execution just didn’t happen. The direction was uninspired, and felt as though it was led, wholly on each performance, and not the actual dialogue (such as it was).

I laughed a grand total of twice. Once at Kendra beating on the perv buddy of Jack (and who in hell would have a friend, that they know is a questionable character around kids? These things can, and sadly tend to happen, but not knowingly so. Not really a great bit of writing), and the second time was at the message that came up on the TV screen. “Stand The F*ck By.” This was after the TV station became overrun with the assheads. There was a load of things wrong with the film, but, there were some actual good things too. Aside from oddly used Dutch angles, there were occasional decent shots.

I would’ve liked to have known why Jack’s house became the target of the asshead infectees of the dreaded 13/13/13 curse, that inflicted anyone not born on a leap year. If anyone has seen You’re Next, then the image of Candace (Erin Coker) with an axe, should be very familier. And that’s another thing; why was Candace carrying the axe, and Jack had a small knife and pepper-spray? Seriously? WTF! Remembering this is a straight-to-dvd horror (of which there is a massive saturation already), I’m grading this, ever-so-slightly higher than if it was on general release. Even so, a low score is the best I can do.

Review by Ed Blackadder, Lead Entertainment Writer

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