War of the Avatar Trek! —
What have Asylum done this time? They have managed to make a movie with the wrong title. This strange sci-fi flick should be calledWar of the Avatar Trek! and once you have clapped eyes on it, you too shall understand why. As you will no doubt know, we here at Influx Magazine fight over who gets to enjoy Asylum movies when they come out, and it was me, again. And even though I developed cataracts in the time it took the end credits to come up, I’ll try to use my shaking hands to type the review for this cinematic WMD for you. Never fear good readers, for I know what you are desparate to ask and the answer is a simple “no”. There is nothing remotely original in their latest masterpiece but it is a bit better than their normal efforts.
Director Thunder Levin must have been thrilled when Asylum chose his script to be used for their latest endeavour, and who wouldn’t be? I’m sure we all remember Thunder Levin’s work, from classics such as Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood. What do you mean “no”? How about Sharknado? Levin is one of the better directors to have worked on an Asylum flick, and he didn’t do too badly. The shots were in focus, I could hear everything and there were even a couple of special effects that worked. His script, however, was something else entirely. The story itself was passable, but the characters which populated the story we’re a tad less than original, with Lieutenant Commander Data from Star Trek TNG being a blatant replication that no one could mistake for anyone other than Data, but here his name is TIM (Gray Hawks).
We start this low budget movie off by seeing people on a spaceship having escaped a war ravaged Earth. They have decided to go with what’s left of the crew to a new planet, where they plan to ‘go forth and multiply’ but Lt. Frank Baum (Adrian Paul) wants to go back to Earth. The ships captain Sam Crowe (Richard Grieco) tells him he must stay and will be put to good use on their new world when they get there. Everyone is put into cryo for the long journey ahead of them, but they suddenly wake up to a loud explosion as the ship starts to burn up entering the planets atmosphere. Somehow, a lot of them survive, with not a hair out of place (I jest not), only to be met by invisible people who want to kill them, and people painted white, exactly like at the beginning of Star Trek: Into Darkness. Exactly like that.
I won’t fool about any longer but suffice it to say, the film isn’t really all that good but it stands head and shoulders above most things that Asylum release, and while it is mostly a shameful rip off, Levin done extremely well when you consider the budget of $1 million. I have seen a heck of alot worse that cost more, so it may appeal to more people than usual. but sadly, not me.
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