Well Crafted, Very Funny, Politically Incorrect, Jihad Vampire Flick

Where did this little beauty come from? Left field indeed. I wasn’t expecting anything like this when I decided to watch it, and thought it would be the usual vampire romp, with a few gags tossed in, but instead, was treated to a bold and funny take on terrorism and vampirism, wrapped up in a buddy cop movie sorta thing, with bite. There isn’t a great deal in the way of special effects, but director Dietrich Johnston has handled it well, by not even attempting to insult the audience with fake looking horror. There are a few scenes, particularly near the end, where we get some crazy looking gore (like the terrorist pulling out his own eye on a knife), but it was supposed to look fake. This is based on a 23 minute short film, of the same title, made back in the early noughties, also written and directed by Johnston, but this has been made more palatable for the more discerning general viewing audience (AKA, less offensive).

Blood Shot
Dietrich Johnston
Brennan Elliott, Michael Bailey Smith, Brad Dourif, Lance Henriksen, Christopher Lambert
Release Date
August, 2013
Influx Grade: A

Basically, Blood Shot is about a bunch of crazy, bug-eyed terrorists (I mean, what else would they look like?), led by a man whose name is so long, they shortened it to plain old Bob, who are trying very hard to develop a nuclear device (I use the word “develop,” very loosely). Then we have a vampire, who goes by the name of, eh, Vampire, but he is far from your average Fanger. For one thing, he doesn’t bite, but he also works, indirectly, for the President (yes, that one), doing professional hits. He’s staying on the side of good, or as he puts it, “loud and proud baby — the American way!” The last and, not even close to being least, an obsessed cop, Rip, (cool name), who has been after Vampire the vampire for ages (I couldn’t begin to guess how long), but never quite getting his living-dead suspect arrested. His marriage is on the rocks, and most of the time, he walks about with a face like a bag of spanners, thanks to being repeatedly hit by our cuddly big wet-work blood sucker.

The nasty terrorists have been beheading lots of innocent white people, and of course filming it, but hot on their heels is Vampire. Hot on Vampire’s heels is Rip (Brennan Elliott), but each time he and Vampire (Michael Bailey Smith) meet, Rip gets his ass handed to him, in an oft painful manner. Thanks to Rip and Vampire clashing, Bob (Brad Dourif) is made aware of the vampire’s existence, and has been ready for him with an incantation that will turn Vampire into a big blue jinn (genie), enabling him to get the nuclear material he needs. A news reporter has run a story that has put Rip’s life in danger, so Vampire and Rip must team up to kick some terrorist ass. As if all that isn’t enough, there lies a nice little twist at the end, making this a winner in my books, and a film that should be looked upon fondly, in years to come. The acting was good, with Brad Dourif doing expectedly well (he’s made for roles like this), but the pairing of Brennan Elliott and Michael Bailey Smith worked very well indeed. Without giving too much away, I hope the duo can make it into a follow-up, because that, I would really like to see. If you enjoy your comedy horrors, then Blood Shot is unmissable.

Nav Qateel

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