Cat Run 2 is a blast

by Nav Qateel

Cat Run 2 is the latest effort from director John Stockwell (Seal Team Six: The Raid on Osama Bin Laden) as he follows up on his 2011 shininigans Cat Run. Everything that was wrong with Cat Run has been addressed in this comedy-action caper, providing us with a highly entertaining, ludicrously dumb movie about two inept private eye’s, who manage to fight major international crime, as well as compete in a Louisiana Cajun TV cooking contest.

New Orlean-based PI’s Julian (Alphonso McAuley) and Anthony (Scott Mechlowicz) head to Louisiana after Anthony wins entry to a TV cook-off. They stay with Julian’s uncle and soon learn Julian’s soldier cousin is in deep trouble and needs their help. (Don’t you just love coincidences?) The pair, of course, agree, and soon they find they’ve stumbled onto something involving “bio-engineered super-assassins,” and international intrigue that they somehow bungle their way through without getting killed, no matter how many bullets come their way.

John Stockwell really nailed the comedy in Andrew and Matt Manson’s script, with some nice timing between the two stars who work so well together. Out of an abundance of gags dispersed fairly evenly through the movie, one of the funniest was at the end of a fight sequence, where Tatiana had to singlehandedly defend herself against three ninjas. At the end of the fight, the remaining ninja says to Tatiana in a poorly executed, out-of-sync voice-over: “We shall meet again!” while his lips say something else, in that manner made infamous in the old chop socky flicks of days gone by. Stockwell appeared to have an eye to keeping this a fun film that never took itself seriously, at all.

Cat Run 2
Directed by
John Stockwell
Scott Mechlowicz, Alphonso McAuley, Winter Ave Zoli
Release Date
26 August 2014
Nav’s Grade: B

Sons of Anarchy and Hellboy actress Winter Ave Zoli does a fantastic job of playing the sexy and oft nude super-assassin Tatiana. The high-ranking officer of a military base is having a celebration but when the two strippers meant to be the evening’s entertainment arrive, they turn out to be Tatiana and another sexy super-assassin. They’ve been ordered to hack the base computer and download plans for a bio-weapon, however, the alarm is raised before the job can be completed. Tatiana gives a demonstration of just how effective the super-assassin’s can be by easily taking out one soldier after another without breaking a sweat. Zoli coped remarkably well with the physicality of her role and appeared comfortable with the fight choreography.

Unfortunately, Tatiana’s companion elects to face certain death to allow Tatiana to escape, after they find themselves facing overwhelming firepower. This leaves a rather large and embarrassing loose end for everyone involved; something with the potential to cause an international incident–there’s a bio-enhanced super-assassin sitting in the morgue! Our two hero’s learn about the body, and with Tatiana also going after her former co-worker, this brings all three into contact. Now, Tatiana has orders to kill the two PI’s but she appears to be quite taken with Anthony and finds she’s reluctant to carry out her orders. (Well, we can’t have our hero’s getting killed.)

Cat Run 2 wasn’t a perfect film, yet even as I sat watching the occasional fight sequences involving Zoli where they’d speed up the camera, making her movements rather comical, I found myself thoroughly enjoying the proceedings instead of being annoyed at the poor job. I’m pretty sure Stockwell was simply doing what Tarantino has done many times in the past. He was mimicking the old kung fu flicks and infusing that into the film as part of the humor, and in this reviewers opinion, Stockwell pulled it off. This was one of those times where everything worked even though it had no right to be this good.

The two leads were on good form with some great one-liners, and they work very well as a team. They have an onscreen chemistry that comes over well. Zoli was more than just a glorified extra in her role as Tatiana, and the actress pulled her weight just as much as our hero’s. Her performance was good considering it wasn’t perhaps the ideal character for her to play, yet, she gave it all she had and made Tatiana her own.

The science in Cat Run 2 was laughable and made very little sense, but like everything else that wasn’t quite right in this film, it simply added to the fun factor. Cat Run 2 is a blast, with great action, crazy humor and chicks who’re as sexy as they are deadly. A must see, warts and all.