Not too bad if all you are looking for are breasts and blood…

by Martin Hafer

There are a couple things I should mention before I get to my review of Crying Wolf 3D. First, I am not a huge fan of gory horror films, so I am sure this impacted my enjoyment of this film. Second, although the film apparently is in 3-D, the copy I saw was not and perhaps seeing it in its intended form might have improved the film.

The setting for the film is in the Cotswolds in England. For you non-Brits, that’s west-northwest of London in the countryside. It’s the pretty and peaceful part of England where Shakespeare lived….though it’s not all that pretty or peaceful in this film, that’s for sure!

It begins with a private eye buying a book from a strange lady…one she keeps refusing to sell him. Then, he reads what is the story you then see. In this story, a group of werewolves are going on a little vacation–to frolic in the countryside, camp out, sing a few songs and kill folks for kicks. You see, unlike the typical movie werefolk, these werewolves like to travel in packs and are not tormented by their evil desires…in fact, they revel in them. As they’re out doing what werewolves do best, they don’t realize that one of their past victims which somehow escaped has returned with a friend to hunt down the hunters. The end is a giant gore-fest–with exploding bits and blood flying here and there.

Crying Wolf 3D
Directed by
Tony Jopia
Caroline Munro, Joe Egan, Kristofer Dayne
Release Date
12 December 2015
Martin’s Grade: D

For me, one of the only things I liked about the film was seeing Caroline Munro (a former Bond girl and cast member of the Dr. Phibes movies) playing the strange bookstore owner. The basic plot ideas also weren’t bad and could have worked. However, the execution of the story was seriously flawed. There’s a lot of gratuitous blood and breasts, but there’s no finesse to the story at all…it’s just breasts and blood. For some people, that might just be enough to warrant watching the movie. But the characters and dialog were so poor and I simply didn’t care about anyone and that’s the real shame in Crying Wolf 3D. Had they chosen to make it more of a comedy and made the dialog at least somewhat believable, I could have enjoyed the picture much more than I did. Or, had they made it a serious drama with real tension and decent characters, I could have also enjoyed it more. Instead, it’s just another cheap horror film with little to distinguish it.