Mindless fun.

by Martin Hafer

At the outset, you should be aware that I am not a huge fan of action films. However, I do enjoy a good and well made action film…such as Die Hard. And, speaking of Die Hard, Bruce Willis co-stars in this one…but in this case he is not the action hero but the crazy and mega-dangerous villain. As for Precious Cargo, it was exciting and was filled with explosions, gun fire and stunts…but not a whole lot else.

When the film begins, Jack (Mark-Paul Gossalaar) is working a mission with his team. However, he is nearly killed in the process when his deal to supply weapons to some baddies runs amok. It seems that he and his friends are criminals…cheating other criminals. But now that this case is over, it’s time to relax…but this break doesn’t last long. This is because Jack’s old evil girlfriend, Karen (Claire Forlani) arrives…right in the middle to Jack making sweet love to his new sweetie. Talk about awkward! So why has this evil succubus of a woman returned? Well, Jack doesn’t have time to ask because before you know it, a group of nasty assassins arrive and blow the crap out of his home…and Jack and the two women barely escape and then proceed to have a long chase using speedboats. This boating sequence is rather reminiscent of some of the James Bond films, by the way.

Precious Cargo
Directed by
Max Adams
Bruce Willis, Claire Forlani, John Brotherton
Release Date
22 April 2016
Martin’s Grade: D+

Soon after miraculously dispatching all the baddies chasing them, Jack learns that a maniac mobster, Eddie (Bruce Willis) is behind the attack. Eddie is trying to kill Karen as this conniving woman has cheated him and he’s willing to let bygones be bygones…after he and his men kill her. Unfortunately for Jack, he just happens to be in the way. He’s also an idiot and keeps falling for Karen’s lies and manipulations.

At this point in the film, I wasn’t particularly disappointed in the movie. While the characters were all very one-dimensional and underdeveloped, the stunts were crazy exciting. However, soon the film started falling apart for me…just because the writing became insane. Having Jack and his gang of misfits decide to steal $500,000,000 worth of diamonds from the CIA was just idiotic. You can’t just steal this much from the government this easily!! Plus, should the viewers be rooting for people who are thieves…and rooting against some other thieves?! Well, it certainly is confusing and the film just stopped making much sense.

So was there much I liked about the film? As I already mentioned, the stunts were impressive. Additionally, Willis made for a very menacing villain…and I liked seeing him in this sort of role. I also liked seeing the nice Mississippi coast location shoot. Otherwise, I thought the film could have used less stunts and more in the way of hashing out its characters and plot.

For the person who loves action, action, action, this isn’t a bad film. For anyone wanting more from a movie, you could easily find better.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar
Mark-Paul Gosselaar
Randall Emmett
Randall Emmett