Rotten Films 101–My suggestions for bad movies that are fun to watch with your bad movie buff friends (Part 3)

The list below is NOT complete and I do not attempt to name every bad film—just the ones I’ve seen.  I might add a third list later.  And, if you can think of a movie that you think I should add, let me know.

To be included on the list, the film has to be fun to watch due to its ineptness.  Usually, watching these films with like-minded friends is a major plus!  Boring films like The English Patient and The Conqueror are not eligible nor are most big-budget flops like John Carter or Heaven’s Gate unless they reach a certain level of awfulness.  Also, while I have heard that the Turkish version of Star Wars is horrible, if I cannot find it subtitled or dubbed I will not include it on the list.

My first two lists gave you a total of 80 bad but hilariously bad films and I thought this would be it.  But, the more I think about it, the more I could remember other awful films.  I noticed that this list is pretty heavy when it comes to exploitation and horror films—which should come as no big surprise.  Below are 40 more and as always, feel free to suggest other titles, as I am working on the fourth installment of this list!

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Killers From Space—Peter Graves is a government scientist who has been operated on by aliens intent on taking over the world.  It sounds interesting but is instead very goofy and dumb.  Just the sort of bad film I enjoy!

Hillbillies in a Haunted House—I think the title pretty much says it all for this one!  Funny at times but also incredibly dumb.

Track of the Moon Beast–A meteorite actually hits a guy in the head. Naturally, this makes him turn into a Velociraptor every time the moon comes out, which, incidentally happened to a cousin of mine, but I digress…

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter—Once again, the title says it all!

The Dead One—From Barry Mahon, the same guy who brought us Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny!

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny—A film so horrible that it makes Santa Claus vs. the Martians look good by comparison!

Chloe, Love is Calling You—Voodoo priestesses, hillbillies and racism…and yet the film STILL manages to be dull!!!

Blood Freak—A man becomes giant killer turkey after eating tainted turkey meat!  ‘Nuff said…

Exorcist II: The Heretic—This pretty much put an end to both Linda Blair’s and Richard Burton’s careers…and it’s easy to see why.

Sharon’s Baby—Joan Collins in a terrible film featuring a devil-baby who kills!  It’s even worse than her Empire of the Ants!

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park—This film was actually made for TV and proves that whether you like their music or not, KISS will put their name on ANYTHING!!!

Horror High—If you’ve seen one nerd who drinks good left by the janitor and turns into a murdering beast film, you’ve seen ‘em all.

Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things—At times dull and stupid but I’ve got to admit that the title of the film IS awfully cool.  Too bad the film isn’t nearly as good as the title.

Godzilla Vs. the Smog Monster—It’s easy to pick on Japanese monster films and this one is probably the worst thanks to its heavy-handed message and the annoying brat who loves Godzilla!

Pocket Ninjas—Speaking of annoying brats…this film is full of ‘em!

Racket Girls—also called Pin Down Girls!  This one features lady wrasslers and Timothy Farrell—reasons enough to assume it’s really bad.  Good assumption.

Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave—After Lee died, lots of sleazy producers came up with films with his name in the title but which didn’t feature the late actor.  Jun Chong is rechristened ‘Bruce K.L. Lea’ in this film!

King Kong Lives–Directed and written by gerbils…really, really DUMB gerbils!  It begins by letting the viewer know that King Kong ACTUALLY survived the fall from the top of the Empire State Building….

The Blonde Captive—The blonde in the title makes her appearance at the 68 minute mark and it’s only a 75 minute film!!  The rest is mostly stock footage with lots of half naked villagers in an attempt to sneak the nudity past the censors.

King Solomon’s Mines (1985)—Not to be confused with the excellent Stewart Granger film, this Richard Chamberlain film made me want to demand my money back from the theater!  The cannibal stewpot scene is especially painful.

Deathless Devil—The son of Copperhead fights against Dr. Satan in this hilariously bad Turkish romp!

Kiara the Brave—A ripoff of Brave though the plot has nothing to do with the Pixar film.  CGI from 2011 looks like it is from 1995!

Just Another Romantic Wrestling Comedy—Offensive and stupid.  Plus, for a laugh, look at the fake reviews of it on IMDB that give this movie 10s!  Most of these ‘reviewers’ never reviewed another film.

Wild Women of Wongo—Great title, dumb film.  About the exploits of six cave ladies who seriously hate men.

Pledge This!— An ugly-spirited Paris Hilton film intended for only the most shallow and stupid viewers.

Epic Movie—With so many bad films in this genre, this is perhaps the worst—but it’s so hard to say because they’re all pretty awful.

Santa With Muscles—The Hulkster takes on Christmas.

The Fat Spy—Even the buxom Jayne Mansfield cannot breath any life into this Phyllis Diller spy spoof.

Jack Frost—My vote for the creepiest kids film from Hollywood.  Enough to make a Scrooge out of any viewer!

King Dinosaur—It’s not just a terrible film but filmmakers encouraged real reptiles (with fins added to make them look kind of like dinosaurs) to actually tear each other to pieces on camera for the audience’s entertainment.  Sick and stupid.

Santa Claus (1959)—Proof that Mexicans must just hate Christmas!

Fear Chamber—Possibly the worst film of the 1960s—and there were LOTS of bad films during this decade!

Narcotic—An exploitation film from the 1930s that might just be worse than Reefer Madness!

Assassination of Trotsky—The second Richard Burton film on my list.  Horrible acting throughout and a death scene that is unintentionally hilarious!

Test Tube Babies—highlights include a blonde at the party and the young wife often speaking as if they’re dyslexics reading from cue cards, a husband mispronouncing the word “gynacologist”, a doctor with the charisma of a tomato and the use of strippers/prostitutes for the female roles.

Angel, Angel Down We Go—Jennifer Jones LSD film that is simply embarrassing and proof she either needed the money, would appear in ANYTHING or had simply lost her mind.

Sin, You Sinners–About as sexy and appealing as seeing Bea Arthur in an erotic film!

First Yank into Tokyo—Offensive beyond belief, this is the worst of the worst of the American WWII propaganda films.  Tom Neal plays an Asian with less conviction than any of the actors who played Charlie Chan!

Spitfire—Katharine Hepburn plays a hillbilly she-devil!  It’s worse than it sounds yet oddly she went on to win tons of Oscars and never looked back!

1313 Cougar Cult—Cheap and horrible in every way.  The CGI is amazingly bad—every bit as bad as in Birdemic.  It’s like a bad porno film with all the sex scenes deleted.

Article by Lead Entertainment Writer & Film Critic, Martin Hafer