New Slink – from the makers of Frisb and Silly Putt!

Kayla and her sister head out to claim their share of late Uncle Arlo’s estate. Once there, they run into the perverted tanning salon owner and his designer handbag making wife who are obviously up to no good (the facts that tanning customers keep disappearing and the leather used in the handbags is not cow-based is not a coincidence), and their own Aunt May, who is living in Arlo’s house and possibly (okay, definitely) has a few secrets of her own.

Let’s get it out-of-the-way upfront – most of my complaints about this movie are things that many would say you shouldn’t worry about in a good horror movie. The acting is pretty mediocre all around (except for the funeral directors – they were kinda fun), but that’s to be expected. The effects were absolutely nothing special, but what do you want on such a limited budget? The story leaves much to be desired, but that’s a common staple of indie horror. The problem here, though, is that those shortcomings are usually made up for by inventive direction, surprising twists and turns, or, at the very least, an overabundance of charm. That’s not particularly the case here – no one aspect about the movie stands out to me as great. But, the fact that I even bothered to want these particular aspects to be better should be considered at least a faint compliment. If the potential wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have bothered caring.

Slink
Director
Jared Masters
Cast
Julia Faye West, Danika Galindo, Art Roberts
Release Date
14 June, 2013
Influx Grade: C

There are definitely a few positive aspects as well, however. The aforementioned funeral directors were quite enjoyably bizarre, but perhaps belonged in another movie. Also, unlike many modern horror indies that go for an 80’s slasher vibe, this one leaned more towards 70’s – early 80’s exploitation, which certainly worked in its favor. Additionally, the writers added a few decent touches of black humor, which went along way in making the running time pass. Finally, some horror enthusiasts may at least be sated by a pretty decent amount of gore and nudity. Other than that, I can’t find a whole lot here to recommend.


One thing that I found just shy of a great twist is the film’s ‘almost-statement’ on consumerism and over-obsession with our looks. They give us a taste of this possibility in the fact that the ‘heather’ (yep, I created a word for human leather) handbags become a hot ticket item and the whole tanning salon aspect, but ultimately, they don’t pursue it enough. This angle, while not particularly new, could have given Slink a boost into the positive direction. Instead, it’s just a tease that never plays out. The film’s abrupt ending all but ensures that the filmmakers at least have a sequel in mind, so perhaps they were holding out on us for good reason.

JASON’S FINAL THOUGHTS:

This is a movie that reminds of many exploitation films of the 70’s and 80’s that are generally held in pretty high regard, or, at the very least, are considered to be fun. If you look closely, there are reminders in Slink of films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Soylent Green, and even The Stuff (specifically regarding the consumerism angle). The problem is that these reminders only serve to accentuate the fact that you’d rather be watching those films instead. Make no mistake – this movie is not awful, but it’s just not very good. Its energy and occasional off-the-wall vibe ensure that if you rent it and watch it once, you probably won’t regret it.

Review by Jason Howard, Lead Entertainment Writer

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