A new low in exploitation filmmaking.

by Nav Qateel

I’ve been reviewing films from The Asylum for a while now, and I generally know what to expect from their choice in directors. Occasionally, there are pleasant surprises, where even the lack of a budget doesn’t stop the determined filmmaker putting something entertaining together, like Sharknado or Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark; well, anything to do with sharks really, and they appear to manage. However, when it comes to horror or action, for some incredibly odd reason, they drop their considerably low standards even more, and we end up with some pretty nasty films that defy logic, reason and/or taste. I find myself tossing out expletives through most of those films and, of course, Asian School Girls‘ was no exception. Not even close.

Asian School Girls
Directed by
Lawrence Silverstein
Cast
Sam Aotaki, Catherine Hyein Kim, Minnie Scarlet, Andray Johnson
Release Date
15 April 2014
Nav’s Grade: D-

Four high-school friends, Hannah (Sam Aotaki), May (Catherine Hyein Kim), Vivian (Minnie Scarlet) and Suzy (Belle Hengsathorn), decide to go to a club that evening but sadly none of the girls are 21 (more like 31 in actual fact). But wait! Fear not, for Vivian magically finds four ID’s that will get them into said club, allowing the girls to enjoy the evening. Not long after arriving, the girls get noticed by Steve and Wes, who persuade the girls to go with them to some hotel room.

But before they arrive the drugs the guys slipped into the girls’ drink take effect, causing the them to pass out. There are two more guys waiting in the room, and eventually the girls are raped, then dumped by the side of a road. When they come to, they go to the police station but the cop they speak to, Detective Jack (Andray Johnson), can’t give them the help they need. After Suzy kills herself because of the rape, the remaining three decide to get even, and proceed to open a can of whoopass on the men responsible.

The rape scene wasn’t pleasant but it was thankfully over with quickly. I dislike seeing rape in film but that wasn’t why I was glad it was over quickly. No. The acting while the rape was going on left a lot to be desired. As a matter of fact, other than the girls, who weren’t that bad really, the rest varied from the likes of veteran actor Andray Johnson dialing it in, to the rest either, overacting, or failing to grasp the concept of just how this acting thing is done.


When the trio decide to take care of the men responsible for the heinous crime committed against them, they do what anyone in their position would do. They start stripping at a club to hopefully make enough money to buy all the weapons they need to be able to pose on the poster, to make it look cool, so anyone into Asian revenge films will be foolish enough to hire it. Oh, and, of course, they needed the weapons to beat the bad guys. As well as buying all the weapons from Hector (Robert Santana Jr.), he needs to train the girls to use swords, knives, guns and how to be highly proficient at martial arts, so, he gets a spare couple of hours and lickety-split, has them Special Forces/Ninja-ready in no time.

The choreography was quite amazing when the action started, with the girls really showing how years of training aren’t needed at all when a few hours at a punchbag can teach you how to disarm men twice your size and snap their necks like twigs; shoot straight and true, and toss throwing knives with deadly accuracy. At least director Lawrence Silverstein didn’t try to insult us with any semblance of realism. That simply wouldn’t do in a low-budget crapfest released by The Asylum. They should have introduced a shark into the plot and it would have miraculously turned out cheesy but good and maybe perhaps even made money. Ah, well.

At the end of the day, Asian School Girls was all about getting these young Asian women naked as often as possible, and when they weren’t naked, running around in the shortest skirts imaginable. In that, Asian School Girls achieved its goal, in fact, one could argue they overachieved. Being a big fan of Asian cinema, and also revenge flicks, I genuinely thought this may have been a bit of both, but boy was I mistaken. It was an exploitation movie, first and foremost, with variable acting, woeful choreography and terrible dialogue, like “I want you to take off your panties and sit on my face.”

I noticed the ladies are all newbies with at least one moving up from more raunchy material, if you can call this “moving up.” If like me you enjoy Asian movies, give this a pass. If like me you like movies at all, still give this a pass. This is a film for getting drunk to or playing at stag parties, but beyond that, it held no entertainment value. The only reason I didn’t give this film an ‘F’ is because the ladies’ acting wasn’t bad, plus this is merely a straight-to-DVD effort.